In February this year, a rapist at Grendon Underwood Prison invited Women Against Rape (WAR) to meet men serving sentences for sexual offences and other crimes. He and others wanted to discuss rape and its effect on women's lives, using WAR as the '`closest thing" to facing their victims. The head psychologist at Grendon Underwood arranged our visit.

This was the first time WAR had been involved in a sex offenders' "treatment" programme. Since so few rapes are reported, and so few reported rapes result in convictions, we went to Grendon aware that men in prison are not untypical of many men outside, different only in that they have not been convicted. We also carried out our strategy for ending rape: increasing women's power in relation to men, which in turn changes men's attitudes and behaviour. In our experience, the best "education" of individual men and of society generally is when women as individuals and in groups refuse to stay at the bottom of the social hierarchy and press their needs and concerns forward.

WAR is ready to work with anyone who shows commitment to opposing rape, and we were cautious but open-minded about the men in Grendon. We invited two members of Payday, a men's network which supports WAR, to join our visit.

Compared with some prisons. Grendon’s regime appeared relatively relaxed. Its programme of voluntary therapy is unique in British prisons. Men spend about 18 months on D wing, undergoing intensive daily therapy. Inmates spend most the day outside the cells, and attend regular meetings to sort out individual and collective problems. "Progress" is closely monitored. The generally low proportion of black men (about five in the wing) compared to the total prison population was noticeable. Access to Grendon's programme is limited and dependent on a psychologist's recommendation.

Each of the four - two women from WAR and two men from Payday - joined small therapy groups, which focused mainly on individuals' experiences. These groups then reported back to a session of the whole wing (40 - 50 men). A session followed, with about 25 men who wanted to pursue the discussion.

"Several men described their previous - or persisting - view of women as people with different emotions and needs . . . and as devious, manipulative and unfeeling. Mothers, wives, girlfriends and other women were there for housework or sex"

The men were very keen to hear our opinions and forthright with theirs, and there was a general air of enthusiasm. They were serving sentences of between five years and life for a range of offences, from sexual assault to murder. Some rapists had raped women they knew, others had raped strangers. One man had confessed to three rapes while serving time for an unrelated offence.

We began by describing WAR's 12 years' campaigning against all forms of rape and sexual assault, and then discussed women's and men's roles in the economy and society generally; police and court treatment of rape survivors; sentencing; and rape prevention. Their views ranged from crude common or garden sexism ("A woman's place is in the home"), to some of the most honest and perceptive insights about themselves as men, that we've encountered. Several described their previous - or persisting - view of women as people with different emotions and needs from men, and as devious, manipulative, and unfeeling. Mothers, wives, girlfriends and other women, they said, were there for housework or sex – "women rather than people", one summed up. Several asked about "false" charges of rape; they thought "women should be careful" not to mislead men. Some were reluctant to acknowledge how their greater power as men was relevant to their offence. They identified emotions of frustration, anger, insecurity, which led them to rape, for which "a woman had to pay the price." according to some, absent or dominant mothers made rape "inevitable".

In discussing why it is women who were the target for their anger, in other words, why men rape, we highlighted the power relation which begins with women's financial dependence on men and the service work women are expected to provide in exchange for financial support. Rape in marriage not being a crime - an outgrowth of that servitude and dependence - sets the terms for rape as "a man's right", even within the most casual relationship. There was general agreement that "no" must mean "no", but some men acknowledged that they didn't always believe it. We pointed out that, trained to expect women's physical and emotional housework, including sex, men are used to imposing their will on women. Home Office figures confirm that most sex attackers know the woman or girl they attack (Concerns about rape February 1989).

0ne man maintained that his own insecurity and resentment of strong, independent women led him to rape, not anything to do with money. Prompted by: 'What about your wife?" from another inmate, he admitted that he gave her £12 housekeeping (including for the children) out of £200 pay. Another described how, when Child Benefit doesn't go far enough, a man with £50 in his pocket can sometimes buy a woman's consent.

Men told of being sexually assaulted as children. One described wanting to "dump my misery" on someone else: "I felt inferior in myself to everything around me. I had so much inside and couldn't communicate. There was no justification for what I did - I believed there was, because of what happened to me." Having been sexually abused as a child by his uncle, he started to beat up gay men. One of his victims was a Gay Liberation activist who pointed out that most child sexual assault was by heterosexual men and that his uncle, not gay men, was guilty of assaulting him. After that he left gay men alone.

We returned several times to the issue of responsibility: individual rapists are certainly accountable for their actions, but the State is responsible for condoning and encouraging them. 'Because most of the work women contribute is unwaged and uncounted, even our lives count for less. To claim that men have no responsibility for rape because of "uncontrollable urges" or conditioning, lets the rapist off the hook. To claim that men are the only ones responsible lets the State off the hook. ignoring its defence of rapists: police scepticism, even brutality, court humiliation. and "go-ahead" sentences.

The Grendon men acknowledged how rape survivors are put on trial by police and courts. One man described how, when he gave himself up after breaking into an unknown woman's flat and raping her at knifepoint, the police said of his victim, who was a nurse: "We all know what these nurses are like," and were reluctant to investigate. The men were well aware that the ape of professional women is treated more seriously than the rape of less "respectable" women, such as prostitute women. We said that WAR campaigns against a hierarchy of rape, and for all women to be treated seriously.

Questioned about sentencing, we said women must be protected from rapists and other violent men, including by imprisonment, until rape is abolished. The men knew about rulings like Judge Cassell's that a man's rape of his stepdaughter was mitigated by his wife's pregnancy. They shared our outrage at sentences which value property more highly than people. We explained that we have consistently dissociated ourselves from the law-and-order lobby, which tries to use women's justifiable rage to increase police powers, and to bring in blanket high sentences which are likely to be used in a racist or discriminatory way, and could mean even less convictions. Nor do we believe prison is the answer, since it cannot end rape or any other crime of violence, and is itself a form of violence. In addition, they are used mainly against people who commit crimes of poverty, such as prostitute women, and against protesters, such as Greenham women.

On "achieving equality" and ending rape, the men were reluctant to confront the question of their social power over women. They were more comfortable with the limited solution of individuals reforming - not surprising in a prison therapy programme unlikely to question the foundations of the status quo.

"The Grendon men acknowledged how rape survivors are put on trial by police and courts . . . One man described how the police said of his victim `we all know what these nurses are like' and were reluctant to investigate"

The men said they wanted women to have the right to say no, but indicated that anything more was "women's lib" and unconnected, with ending rape. One said it was "hard for men to drop power" since "Women still want you to buy the drinks." They questioned why we are a women-only group, since "rape is society's problem" and "men are angry [about rape] too". We pointed out that it is overwhelmingly women who are raped and men who do the raping.

The exchange was valuable to us, though it was hard to judge the effectiveness of their therapy, without knowing the effect of imprisonment and other factors such as changes in women's status (reflected, for example, in shifts in sentencing). The men seemed to feel it was in their own interest to change, and appeared to be working hard at it. One said it was a heavy thing to carry, to have ruined a woman's life. He particularly dreaded facing women in his family, explaining to his daughters why he'd been in prison. Many appeared to understand how much they miss by being divided from women.

Most of the men were ready for an honest discussion. They had committed themselves to therapy as a condition of staying at Grendon. All the men including those convicted of a nonsexual offences had examined their behaviour in a serious way - which most men are not forced to do. We were encouraged by the men's stated determination to change themselves. The Payday men commented that "It was disturbing to hear some of the views which we know are common among men; but encouraging to see the same work that many of us outside are doing - acknowledging all forms of violence against women - also being done by men inside for rape."

What the Grendon men said and their keenness to listen, bore out our conviction that men are not rapists by nature, and that in the course of creating a society where women are economically and socially independent of men, we will see men change.